As I Remember
by Mistress Silence
Summary: It started as love. It grew to control. Ryou is sick and must stay home, in a land where Bakura is Master. Nightmares begin to haunt him as the truth about his life slowly begins to reveal it's self. RxB and some YMxM and YMxR.
1. Chapter 1

**EDIT:** Haha…I went back and edited it. After what? A year? More? I'm not sure. I should finish this piece…but how? I never thought how it would end when I began. The ending wasn't what mattered to me. It was the story of the beginning I wanted to tell. I'll think on it.

Had this idea and couldn't shake it. A tale of romantic tragedy, about a beast who grew hungry too hungry for the love he was given. What is love? And can it be taken by force?

Going to be yaoi hints, just a warning!

XXX

The young boy waited in the darkness of his bedroom, as he'd been instructed, tucked safely beneath a white, down comforter. Faint footsteps echoed in the hallway. Someone was moving around in the bathroom. He could see the lights in the hall, shining in through the door left ajar. Shadows moved in the lit hallway and the beam of solid light wavered, and then disappeared. He closed his eyes quick, feeling his chest begin to tighten. The boy swallowed. His throat tickled but he held back a cough, afraid to make any noise. The door squeaked as someone opened it further, and soon after closed completely with a muffled click. The boy clutched his comforter tightly. A familiar presence smoothly slid beneath the sheets to lie beside him. The covers shifted and strong arms wrapped around the boy's middle; a chin found its place on his shoulder and for a moment he held onto the fleeting hope that this might be it. Now they'd both go to sleep and that would be the end of it.

"Hikari…" a low voice purred into his ear, tickling him with warm breath. His heart beat quickened. "Hikari…You're awake aren't you...?" Dear God, his voice…Ryou knew what that husky voice meant. He also knew pretending to be a sleep was not an option. His counterpart would know the difference. It was a very rare thing for Ryou to fall asleep without the feel of his partner beside him. He couldn't succumb to sleep without knowing what sort of night it would be.

"Ryou." The other one nuzzled his hair, a hand roaming up the boy's stomach and tickling it lightly.

"Yami…" the boy breathed. What could he do now? It was obvious what sort of night it was going to be…He bit his lower lip. Why tonight? Why not last night or the night before?

Bakura nuzzled his neck, biting it rather hardly, sucking on it like a vampire draining its prey. Ryou shivered and moaned. No…he didn't feel good tonight. Bakura's one hand stayed up by Ryou's chest, while the other started to roam lower…

"Please…Bakura?" he whispered. The one holding him stopped sucking for a moment and Ryou felt his body stiffen a bit.

"What is it hikari?" he asked, his voice a low grumble. Ryou bit his lower lip harder. It wasn't good to interrupt Bakura on nights like this…it was never good to go against Bakura's will. That was bad; very bad. Ryou swallowed the tickle in his throat again. He was about to say something when Bakura went back to his business again.

"Yami wait…" he whispered. This time Bakura growled and bit him hard, making the boy whimper.

"Shh…No more talking Ryou…" he ordered, his voice silky-smooth. Shifting his position, the stronger one slid on top of Ryou and straddled his hips. "You know better." Ryou's breathing was quickening now.

"But…I don't feel so good…" Bakura grabbed Ryou's wrists firmly and moved them up over his head, leaning down so his face was right by Ryou's. Without so much as another word Ryou found he was being suffocated in a harsh kiss. The tickle in his throat suddenly grew and Ryou whimpered, trying to pull away. Bakura was strong and held him in place as he continued to kiss like a hungry wolf. "Y-Yami!" he whispered fiercely, turning his head to the side. "Please—please stop!" Bakura paid no attention. Instead he began kissing down Ryou's neck and to his chest, nipping here and there. "Bakura—please—no!"

All at once they both froze; Ryou in fear and Bakura in surprise. The boy clamped his mouth shut; looking wide eyed at the man on top oh him. Bakura was glaring down at him, eyes narrow. His grip on the boy became tighter and Ryou knew there would be bruises on his wrists later. It didn't matter. What had he done? What had he been thinking?

"No?" Bakura asked in a deathly whisper. "Ryou…did you just say what I think you said?" Ryou opened his mouth to speak but meaningless muttering was all that came out. Bakura leaned in closer. "I think you did."

"I'm sorry!" he whispered quickly. "I didn't mean to-I-!" Suddenly that feeling in the back of his throat overwhelmed him. Ryou turned his head to the side, gasping for air. He couldn't help it; a loud, hacking cough came out. It made his throat burn and his eyes water. "Y-yami!" he tried to speak. "I-I don't feel..." Another loud cough came out. "-don't feel too good…"

He could feel Bakura's attitude change. His grip on the boy's wrists loosened, and he let go, but Ryou kept his wrists up, afraid if he moved them Bakura would get angry. The one on top of him stared. Even in the dark Ryou could see his frown. Was he angry? Concerned? Ryou hoped he wasn't too angry…it wasn't his fault he didn't feel good. But he had said it…he had said that word.

One of Bakura's hands came to rest on Ryou's head. "You're hot," he said after a moment. Ryou waited, like a defendant on trial. What would the judge's ruling be? With an aggravated sigh Bakura crawled off of him, and stood by the bed. "Stay here," he ordered, as if Ryou was planning on going anywhere. Bakura left for the bathroom. Ryou waited nervously, his throat still on fire. If only he had a cup of water. Or tea. Oh how he longed for a cup of tea at that moment.

Bakura's footsteps were coming close again and then the door was opened and shut. "Sit up," he commanded. Ryou did so, shakily. Bakura was holding something…what was it? Bakura stood by him. "Drink this," he ordered. Ryou opened his mouth reluctantly but obediently. Something terrible tasting entered his mouth. He almost spit it out! Luckily he forced himself to swallow but the terrible taste still lingered. Bakura walked around the bed, crawling back in on the other side.

Ryou kept swallowing, trying to flush the nasty taste from his mouth. No use. It must have been some sort of medication. He wondered if it would help his throat at all…

"Hikari," Bakura snapped, getting Ryou's attention. The boy turned to him.

"Thank you Yami…" he whispered. Bakura nodded, staring at Ryou through narrowed eyes.

"You're sick…So tonight, I'll let you rest." A wave of relief flooded over the boy and he felt his whole body relax.

"Thank you Yami," he repeated. Bakura watched him a moment longer, then smirked.

"But," he said sharply. Ryou froze again. "Tomorrow you must stay home. You must stay home until I say you're better." Ryou's eyes widened.

"But…what about school?" he asked timidly.

"You'll go back when you're better," Bakura said simply. That was his final answer and Ryou knew it. On another night the boy might have continued the conversation. He might have argued about how important school was to his future, or that people might get suspicious if he was gone too long, but not tonight. _"Three strikes and you're out,"_ he thought, miserably.

"Yes, Yami."

Bakura nodded and patted the spot on the bed beside him. Like a faithful dog Ryou crawled closer. Bakura held him close; his arms were firm and warm. His chin set its self on Ryou's head, leaving the boy to cuddle into his chest. If anyone were steal this moment, trap it in a picture and give it a name, they might title it: _Two Boys in Love_.

"_Love…"_ Ryou thought dimly. _"Was that how it all started?"_

He coughed a bit, his throat burning like embers in a dying fire. "And Ryou…" Bakura whispered. "Do you remember what I told you about that word?" Ryou nodded slightly.

"Yes Yami…I'm sorry…I won't say it again."

"You'd better not." Bakura answered. There was no danger in his voice now, but there was a firmness. Almost like a Father warning his child of the dangers of crossing the road without looking both ways. "You know what will happen if you do." A lullaby of a threat. Ryou's eyes were already feeling heavy.

"Yes…"

"Good. You must sleep now…"

"Yes Yami." Ryou closed his eyes, breathing slowly. He almost said something he hadn't said in a while…something that seemed so familiar, yet so foreign and forgotten. Like a dream.

"_I love you Bakura."_ He thought in his head. Hadn't that once been the goodnight ritual? Before the waiting in bed to see what kind of night it was. Before the illnesses. Before the accidents. Before the nightmares.

"_There's no reason to bring up bad memories," _his mind scolded, and the boy snuggled further into his keeper's chest. Yes. There was no point in giving himself nightmares. The young boy decided not to think about it, or anything else for that matter. His mind was a blank. A cool, black sheet. A starless sky. He was safe now…

Bakura's grip on the boy tightened.

…safe in the arms of the darkness.

XXX

Well, it's just a first chapter. Tell me what you think. This is going to be pretty angsty folks.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad there are people out there who are enjoying this. I must write this for the idea just stuck and won't go away. Sort of like a bug bite…but less unpleasant.

I could just picture Ryou holding his large sprite, like the kind you get from Taco Bell, and looking quite overwhelmed, with that straw stuck in his mouth while he just stared at the world around him. I've done that a few times…

Oh, and the memory flashbacks aren't in order. The order that they actually happened in are 2, 3, 4, 1. Heh, don't ask me why I put them in the order I did…

XXX

_Ryou giggled softly as the pair walked down the dark street. Warm, summer sounds surrounded them. Fireflies were glowing like moving stars. He felt the sweet air on his face and Bakura's arm around his waist. _

"_Did you like the movie?" he asked. Ryou nodded, smiling. _

"_Yes Bakura. Thanks." _

_Bakura smirked, watching Ryou closely."I thought you would." _

_They neared there house and Bakura glanced around, checking to make sure the cost was clear, before nuzzling Ryou's neck. The boy's breath caught in his throat and he giggled again. _

"_That tickles…" he murmured, still smiling. Bakura grinned back, a toothy, wolf-like grin and moved behind Ryou, with both arms around his waist. _

"_I'm a vampire…" he teased, licking his lips. Ryou chuckled and blushed._

_Now the two were on the door step and Ryou fumbled with the keys as Bakura's hands started roaming around. He was kissing the boy's neck and licking it seductively. It was all the boy could do to slip the key into the hole. "K-Kura…wait—I—not yet…inside…" Bakura grabbed the boy's hand, turning the handle with him. The two disappeared inside._

XXX

Ryou's head felt fuzzy when he woke up. Fuzzy and heavy. He wanted to go back to sleep again, but his body had other plans. The boy had to go to the bathroom, badly. Groggily he made himself sit up. He set his feet on the floor and squealed—it was freezing. But he had to pee and his mouth felt so dry…Ryou stood up and tip toed across the room, teeth chattering. "What time is it?" he wondered. Did it matter? He wasn't going to school today. _"That's right." _He cursed himself for being weak enough to get sick, even though he knew everyone got sick at some time. Why hadn't he worn his coat? Oh, that's right._"Bakura told me it wasn't cold enough to wear a coat, but he was just trying to help. He didn't want me carrying it around all day. He didn't want it to be a bother…"_

Ryou did his business before pouring himself a glass of tap water and taking a great long gulp. Sweet relief! The boy finished off his glass, sighing as his throat and mouth began to come back to life.

"Ryou."

The teen turned around to find Bakura leaning in the door frame, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers from the night before. "Come back to bed." Ryou nodded, putting his glass under the tap to fill it up first. He turned on the water but Bakura, now at his side, turned it off. "I'll get you water. Go back to bed." Ryou set his glass down and did as the older male instructed, tip toeing back to the bedroom. Before crawling back in bed, Ryou fetched a sweater and slide it over his bare shoulders. Then he grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms as well. Was his room really this cold or was this fever just giving him the chills? Ryou didn't know…he just curled up under the soft covers, rested his head on a familiar pillow.

XXX

_The movie theater lobby was loud and crowded. This place buzzed with so much excitement…much more than he was used to! There were so many people, all so close in the line. He felt a bit trapped. Bakura's hand found his and he relaxed a bit._

"_What do you want?" _

"_Huh?" he asked._

"_What do you want?" Bakura repeated, gesturing to the concession stand. Ryou blinked back at him, surprised. Unsure, he looked from Bakura to the glass case containing candies and treats. The yami smirked. "Pick something." Ryou scanned the different colored boxes and pointed to a box of sour, gummy candies. A box was taken out and set on top of the counter._

"_Anything else?" the woman running the stand asked. _

"_Pick a drink," Bakura said to Ryou. The boy's eyes widened, surprised yet again by Bakura's generosity. _

"_Sprite please," he mumbled. In a few moments Bakura had paid and Ryou was holding the drink in his hand, tightly. Bakura was leading him to the right theater. "Thank you Kura," he murmured softly, flashing a smile. Bakura grinned, putting an arm around the boy's shoulder. _

XXX

Ryou supposed after curling up under the covers he'd fallen asleep again because when he opened his eyes there was a mug of tea and a small, plastic cup with some sort of sticky, red, syrup inside. Ryou also noticed a note that read:

_**Going out for a while. Take your medicine. Don't get out of bed. Don't open the door for anyone.**_

He picked up the cup of red liquid and with one sniff turned away in revulsion. He'd save that for later. First he wanted to drink his tea, before it grew cold. He took deep sips, sighing as the warmth from the tea spread throughout his chest. It was nice of Bakura, to make it for him, just the way he liked it. Usually, Ryou did all the cooking.

The boy smiled ever so softly to himself. It was a hidden smile, to be seen by no one. _"It's because I'm sick."_ He thought. _"He acts…_nicer_ when I'm sick."_ It had to be truth. Ryou knew, deep down, it was.

In the past year or so that Ryou and Bakura had lived together Ryou had taken ill a number of times. There had been head cold, sniffles, and now a fever and scratchy throat. There had been injuries from accidents and injuries from…'accidents'. No matter the case, one thing remained constant. Bakura's attitude would always change if Ryou was hurt. If he had a head cold and was sleepy Bakura let him nap and would make dinner for them both. If Ryou had the sniffles it was Bakura who would go to town just to buy him more tissues. Ryou remembered one day when he'd been hurt. Someone had pushed him down the stairs…No, wait, perhaps he had tripped. Yes, of course. He'd stumbled over his own feet. Such a stupid and clumsy thing he could be.

The memory was so hazy and yet so vivid. He'd fallen down the stairs, not just a few steps, but he'd fallen down an entire flight of stairs. He recalled crying and being in so much pain. His wrist had been sprained and there had been bruises all over his body. It was Bakura who found him, knelt beside him and gently carried him back up; Kura, who had held him close and stroked him tenderly to try and ease his pain.

"_I love you Kura."_

Ryou frowned. That thought again. Why didn't he say that anymore? When was the last time he'd said that? Weren't people who…who…well, weren't people who slept together supposed to say that. I love you.

"Someone wouldn't say it unless they felt it…"

XXX

_Ryou followed Bakura on their way to the right screen room, looking somewhat childish as he kept the straw of his drink in his mouth, watching the world around him with wide eyes. He wasn't even sure what movie they were going to see. Judging from the poster by the door it was about vampires. He didn't really care what the movie was about…he was just happy to be there, and out of the house. Out of the house was good. He hadn't been out of the house in a long time…_

_Bakura waved to someone who was ahead of them and Ryou curiously looked to see who it was. The one Bakura waved to smirked and waved back, his eyes dark violet. Those eyes shifted from Bakura to Ryou and the boy felt his heart freeze. He was glad Bakura had an arm around him, or he might have fallen. His Sprite might have gone flying. His feet stopped moving for a moment and it took a pull from Bakura to make them stumble along again._

XXX

He decided to try and not think about it. It only seemed to confuse him more. Every day just seemed like one after the next, as if this was the way things had always been and it always would be. Thinking about what used to be was like stepping into the deep end of a pool. It was strange and scary, because he didn't know where it would lead. It was like a black spot in his memory; forbidden land.

Ryou took his medicine, just like Bakura had told him and then many more sips of tea. Then he lay back down on the bed and closed his eyes. He didn't really want to sleep…it seemed he'd done nothing but sleeping for the better part of the morning. He just felt so tired…but his throat wouldn't let him fall asleep this time. It had been soothed by the tea but still, every time he swallowed it was as if he were a dragon trying to swallow his fire... He wondered if dragons felt like this all the time. Were their throats always aflame and did it bother them at all? He mentally kicked himself for thinking such silly thoughts. Dragons didn't even exist. _"But if they did,"_ he thought to himself. _"I bet they'd feel like this, all the time."_ He bit back a painful cough and tried to even his breathing. He tried to relax his body. Sleep was better than being awake to endure the pain in his throat.

XXX

_Marik was watching him, smirking in that way that all yamis did. He was smirking like he knew Ryou was afraid and it brought him pleasure. He was smirking like he knew what Ryou was thinking. Ryou opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. They drew nearer and nearer to the man but it seemed to Ryou it was Marik who was coming closer and closer._

"_Hey Marik. Hey Malik." Another blonde boy turned his head._

"_Hey there Bakura. Hey there Ryou…" the man replied, keeping his gaze on the small, pale lad. Ryou was still paralyzed. _

"_Say hello Ryou," said Bakura, giving him a little squeeze. _

"_Hello Malik. Hello Marik…" He managed to say so softly it was almost inaudible. Marik grinned. _

"_Long time no see Ryou!" said Malik, smiling from ear to ear. His short, blonde hair framed his smiling face and his gold earrings caught the light, making them shine. With his belly shirt and tight, leather pants, Malik screamed what Ryou had so long kept hidden. Until he'd found someone to understand. _

_Marik's eyes were hauntingly captivating. He gave the boy a wink. Ryou's breath caught in his throat and suddenly he wanted to run. He wanted to bolt and just run, but he held tight to his Sprite and bit his lower lip, looking away. _

"_Yes, long time no see." He whispered, quickly attaching himself back to the straw, pretending to drink and an excuse not to talk._

"_Let's hurry so we can get some good seats! Sit by me Ryou!" said Malik, his smile unfading. Ryou bit his straw and glanced at Bakura. Bakura was not looking at him and his face seemed almost void of emotion. _

"_Ryou is sitting by me," he informed Malik, pulling the boy closer._

"_And you are sitting by me," Marik said in his low voice, snaking his arm around Malik's waist. The shorter blonde grinned mischievously. _

"_But Ryou can sit on my other side. Won't you Ryou?" _

"_But what if I wanted to sit by Ryou hm?" Marik teased, his eyes flickering to Ryou for nearly and instant. The boy bit his straw even harder. _

"_Let's just get in there before all the seats are taken!" _

XXX

He opened his eyes; heart pounding. He gripped the sheets tightly and willed the memory to go away.

"Go away, go away, go away…Marik…" he chanted quietly to himself. The name made his heart pound harder. "Don't think about him. Don't think about him. Don't think about him. Don't think about his house…"

Silence. The house was quiet.

_Too quiet._

"Ryou." A voice from the doorway startled him. Bakura stood there watching him through narrowed eyes. There was something behind them…worry?

"Yami, you're back," the ill boy said with relief.

"Yes. I see you took your medicine."

"You told me to," replied Ryou. "I took it, even though it was nasty…" he made a face and Bakura chuckled a bit.

"It will make you well. I want to see you well again Ryou." Bakura walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. He reached out and shifted some of Ryou's bangs behind his ear, checking his temperature at the same time. "Still warm…Did you get out of bed?" he asked. Ryou shook his head. "Good…Very good Ryou." He ran his finger's through the boy's hair fondly. Ryou shivered at the tingly sensation but smiled softly. How relaxed it made him feel…and how easily it made the nightmares dissolve into nothingness.

Bakura watched as Ryou's face took on a very peaceful, serene look and smiled to himself. Leaning down he placed a kiss on the boy's forehead. "My Ryou…" he whispered. "My good, little, hikari." Ryou gazed back up at him through half lidded eyes and smiled dreamily.

"_I love you Kura."_

He didn't say it.

Why didn't he say it?

…Why couldn't he say it?

XXX

Review pretty please and tell what you like or don't like.


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright here's the next chapter. I hope you all had happy holidays. I quite enjoyed mine. The beginning of this chapter was originally going to be quite different, but I went back and read it and thought it was too graphic so I switched it to this. This whole chapter was originally very short but I found it too short for my taste so I added quite a bit.**

**Thank you all for reviewing, I'm very glad! I hope you enjoy this chapter that I've worked so hard on!**

XXX

_It was dark outside._

"_Yami…please…" _

_Everyone else was probably asleep in bed._

"_Bakura…stop."_

_His yami growled playfully. _

"_Bakura, please, I asked you to stop."_

_The yami chuckled darkly. "But don't you like it hikari?"_

"_I…I…j-just stop Yami! Please…Yami!!"_

_He laughed harshly. "Poor, poor, hikari…" Bakura caressed his cheek softly. "Why won't you admit it hm?"_

"_Admit what?" _

"_That you want it just as bad as I do…"_

"_Bakura…I'm not…Bakura __**NO**__!"_

_And suddenly the night seemed so much darker. _

XXX

Ryou awoke with a start, cold sweat running down his body. Opening his eyes the first thing he saw was Bakura, propped up against the headboard. Ryou heard people talking and realized Bakura was watching the miniature TV they kept in their bedroom. The hikari never really watched it because the picture was so bad.

Bakura glanced down at him. "Finally awake eh sleepyhead?" he asked. Ryou rolled over and looked at the clock. It was eight thirty. Usually he got up much earlier, to get ready for school. Bakura must have turned off the alarm…This meant he had to stay home for another day. He sighed, whipping the cool perspiration from his brow. _"Oh well. It hasn't been so bad..."_

Rolling back over Ryou glanced at the television and was surprised at what it saw. It wasn't so much the show really that surprised him, but the fact that he could _see_ the show instead of buzzing, gray, static.

"You fixed the TV?" he asked. Bakura gave a quick nod.

"Got bored. This shitty machine always annoyed me so I fixed it." He said this as if it had been no trouble at all. The teenager wondered why Bakura had chosen now to finally do something about it. The machine had been crappy for months, so why wait to fix it now? He decided not to say anything. Did it really matter? At least it was fixed now. Now he could keep himself entertained while he was stuck in bed!

Ryou felt Bakura's hand on his cheek. "Not as warm…but you still have a fever." said his yami. Bakura frowned. "A cold sweat…You'll have to stay in bed today too."

"Ok..." said Ryou, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Bakura smirked at this, for the boy looked cute doing so, and pulled Ryou closer so that the boy's head could rest against his chest. Ryou sighed, making himself comfortable. Was Bakura going to stay with him all day today? Where had Bakura been yesterday anyway? He'd probably never know. Bakura never really told him where he went or what he did. That was 'Yami Business" All Ryou had to do was sit tight and wait for him to come back. He always would. Bakura would never leave behind his little hikari.

"You were dreaming," Bakura said suddenly. Ryou looked up at him. Bakura was watching him, one finger playing with a lock of the boy's hair. "You were talking in your sleep." Ryou felt his stomach do a flip. Why? He wasn't sure…But from the look in Bakura's eye, something was bothering him. All the hikari could do was nod again. "What were you dreaming about Ryou?"

The boy thought a moment, before answering softly, "I had a nightmare."

"About…?"

Ryou bit his lower lip and looked down. "…I don't remember." Ryou left it there, and Bakura didn't press further.

The pair spent a good rest of the morning just sitting in bed and watching reruns of old sitcoms. Sitting comfortably by Bakura allowed Ryou to calm down, and let his bad dream slip away. Why were these dreams plaguing him? They hadn't been around in a long while. These dreams—nightmares—had haunted him before. _'Why are they coming back?'_ he wondered. _'Is it because I'm sick?' _Yes, maybe it was the fever! _'That would explain it…'_

Ryou chuckled softly at the current show, which he happened to find rather amusing. Old comedies had a certain appeal. The humor was different than that of the current time. There was a simple pleasantness in them that the boy found charming.

"You like this stuff?" asked Bakura, who seemed less impressed. Ryou nodded, smiling.

"These old shows are funny."

"They're stupid," Bakura grumbled, giving the television what Ryou found to be the closest Bakura ever got to a pout. It was more like a glare pout. Bakura looked like he was sulking and it made Ryou giggle. Bakura eyed him.

"This show isn't that funny."

"It's not the show..."

"Then what is?" Bakura asked, raising a brow.

"It's just…the way you looked at the TV…" He shook his head. "You looked like you were pouting. It was cute." Bakura looked surprised, then smirked.

"Cute eh? Heh…I think "cute" is the world for you, not me." Ryou blushed and smiled shyly. Bakura grinned widely, leaning in closer to the boy so that his mouth was right by the boy's ear. "Like right now..." he whispered, nuzzling the boy's neck. Ryou giggled again and his blush darkened. "See? Even your laugh is cute." Bakura nuzzled him again, a deep chuckle pouring from his throat. One hand slithered up Ryou's shirt and began to tickle his stomach. The boy couldn't help but laugh—Bakura knew where his ticklish spots were!

"Yami!" he gasped, trying to control his laughter. Bakura continued, nuzzling and tickling and grinning the whole time. Ryou struggled weakly. With only half of his strength Bakura had an easy advantage over the boy. As Ryou tossed his head to the side, tears of laughter forming in his eyes, a sudden familiar prickling sensation caught in his throat. _'Oh no!'_ he thought but it was too late.

The boy's body shook as the dragon in his throat breathed its fire. Squinting his eyes shut and covering his mouth his hunched over, unable to control it. The coughing just kept coming! He felt a firm hand rub his back then felt the weight on the bed shift as Bakura got up and left the room. He came back, moments later, and thrust a glass of water next to Ryou's face. The boy put his hands down and grabbed the glass, drinking greedily.

Finally, when the fit was over, he sunk back into the pillows, feeling exhausted. His throat felt like it was bleeding…And his chest hurt from all the laughing and coughing. Someone raised his head and pressed a small cup to his lips. The boy parted his lips and drank the vile substance he immediately recognized. He made a face, wanting more water to wash the taste away, but none came. "Bakura…" he choked out but the yami placed a finger to his lips.

"Shh. Do not speak. Rest now Hikari," Bakura ordered; his voice soft. Ryou opened his eyes to look up at the one sitting beside him. Bakura was gazing down at him with narrowed eyes. They did not look menacing…what was that look the yami had? Maybe he felt guilty for making the boy have a coughing fit. Bakura pulled away and headed for the door.

'_Why are you leaving?'_ Ryou asked in his head. _'Yami come back!'_ He thought frantically. Why was Bakura going now? It even surprised the boy how much he wanted Bakura to stay with him. Usually Bakura never left him…unless he had a good reason. _'Yami business.'_ Ryou wanted him to stay this time. He didn't want to be alone…He felt weak and was afraid he'd have another fit.

Bakura shut off the lights and Ryou whimpered. He didn't want to sleep. He didn't want to dream…

_XXX_

"_Bakura where are we going?"_

"…"

"_Bakura-ow!-…You're hurting me Yami…" The boy winced as his double's fingers dug deeper into his wrist. Bakura was pulling him along down the street, in the middle of the night. The boy was still dressed in his pajamas. "Yami you're scaring me…"_

"_You should be scared." These words hit Ryou like a hard stone. He stumbled along after his yami, dumbfounded. Why was Bakura acting this way?_

"_Bakura…I—!" The yami stopped in his tracks, causing Ryou to bump into him. Turning his head sharply Bakura caught Ryou's gaze. Ryou's eyes widened. Why was Bakura looking at him like that? He looked so angry…_

"_I've grown impatient Ryou." He said lowly. "You leave me no other choice. This is what it has come to." He started walking again, pulling Ryou along. The boy gulped, looking around, hoping to see someone—anyone! Should he call for help? He considered it but…Bakura wasn't going to hurt him was he? "He won't hurt me. He loves me," the boy thought. _

"_What has it come to? Are you made because-...? Yami I'm just not—!"_

"_You will be Ryou." Bakura's voice was low. "This is for your own good…It is what's best—for both of us." As the turned the corner all Ryou could do was watch Bakura in shock. Something in the pit of his stomach, a strange feeling, came over him as they stopped in front of the shabby home Ryou had never seen before._

_They were in a strange part of town. The side Ryou had always avoided. Everyone avoided it, if they could help it. It was a place of dirty streets, broken beer bottles and cries in the middle of the night. Something dark always seemed to be lurking around, in the houses and in the people. It was something everyone who lived there shared, like a shadow constantly looming overhead. The shadow lived in the people who fueled it. He shivered. It wasn't cold but he had goosebumps. _

_The house they stood in front of was shabby and grey looking. It seemed closed off. All the windows were shut. There wasn't even a welcome mat on the front door. The only sign that someone dwelled inside was the newspaper on the front lawn, left over from that day. _

"_Where are we Yami…?" he asked, softly. Bakura didn't answer. Ryou's gaze fell from the house to a nearby mailbox. Although it was dark he could read the name on the plate._

_Ishtar._

XXX

Ryou awoke in another cold sweat. Trembling he looked around but Bakura was no where in sight.

"Yami…" he breathed, clutching his head and curling into a ball. "I don't understand…" The image of the house was so fresh in his mind. Everything in the dream had seemed so real…he'd even smelt the faint odor of exhaust fumes. He'd felt the chill. "Bakura…" He whimpered, pulling the blankets over his head as a sort of shield. "What's happened…?"

Ryou couldn't sleep the rest of the day. Even though he felt terribly drowsy he would not allow himself to rest for even a minute. Sitting up in bed he watched the television wearily. He was only half paying attention…trying to keep his mind focused on something other than his nightmares. But no matter how hard he tried to push this last one away it wouldn't rest.

"_Don't think about the house," _The fragile lad kept chanting this in his head. It was almost like he'd put himself in trance. _"Don't think about it. Don't think about it."_

He saw the name plate on the mailbox. **Ishtar.**

Ryou threw off his covers and stepped out of bed. Chills hit him like needles and he hugged himself in a weak attempt to stay warm. The floor was freezing and so were his toes! As quickly as the sick lad could he pattered out of the bedroom and out into the hallway. The house was quiet. Bakura must have gone out again. It was so odd how he kept running off. Wiggling around his toes Ryou wished he had a pair of nice, cozy slippers. Yes, a nice pair of slippers, some warm tea, and a book perhaps. He could read out in the living room under a big blanket and wait for Bakura to come home. Then…He didn't really know what would happen after that. _'Bakura will give me some more medicine and sleep with me. Then maybe I won't have a bad dream.' _

After making a much needed stop in the restroom Ryou grabbed a nice woolen blanket his Mum had given him a long time ago and wrapped it around his boney body. Entering the kitchen he reached for his beloved tea kettle, filling it up before setting it on the stove. Going through the familiar routine of preparing his tea made the boy feel slightly better. There was too much time to think and dwell on things when he just sat around. He needed to occupy himself with something.

Looking at the fridge Ryou realized he hadn't eaten in a few days. No wonder he felt so crappy…All that had gone down his throat since catching the cold was tea and medicine. As if on cue his stomach made a squishy, hungry noise. He was a bit hungry…So he found himself a can of soup and began to heat it on the stove, stirring the noodles and bits of chicken around and around and around steadily. He even hummed a little tune to himself.

When both tea and soup were ready he grabbed a random book from the table and settled down on the couch. He sipped his tea cautiously, blowing on it to cool it down just a bit. Now that he had gone through all the trouble of making the food he found himself feeling too tired to eat it. "I can't let this go to waste."

'_I can't let myself fall asleep…'_

The boy tried hard to stay awake. He ate spoonfuls of his soup every few moments, happy to have a pleasant taste in his mouth and something going into his belly. But the words on the page of his book seemed fuzzy around the edges. He couldn't focus on them. Glancing at the clock he saw that it was almost noon. He watched the second hand tick around the clocks face for a while but stopped as he realized it was making his eyes droop shut. Frowning in determination he tried reading aloud. "-and as his hand clasped the sword he felt a strength flow through his body. It was as if the sword and he were…were now one. Arthur…felt a strength flow through his body. It was as if the sword and he were-wait that's not right…" He furrowed his brow in frustration, trying again. "Arthur clasped its hilt with both hands…" Ryou's head drooped forward a bit…

'_You'd think with all the time I spend sleeping,'_ he thought. _'I wouldn't be so tired…' _

"What are you doing?"

Ryou opened his eyes and blinked blearily…Wait! _'I must have nodded off! Wait…but I didn't have a bad dream?'_

"Ryou, I asked you what you were doing out here." The boy lifted his head from the couch's arm and saw Bakura standing over him, looking unpleasantly surprised.

"Oh, Yami you're home!" He glanced at the clock. _'Three o' clock? I've been asleep for three hours?' _

"Yes. I am." He narrowed his eyes. "You still haven't answered my question." Ryou glanced at his tea and soup. They were now both undoubtedly cold…

"Well…" he started. "After you left I feel asleep, but when I woke up I…got hungry." He decided to leave the part about the nightmare out. "So I came out here to make myself some food. I must have fallen asleep."

"You could have waited for me to come home and fix something for you," Bakura said shortly. He crossed his arms and glanced at the cold food. "How do you know I didn't go out to get food for you?" Not expecting this Ryou sat up straighter, with more interest.

"Did you Yami?" he asked, suddenly noticing the grocery bag in Bakura's hand. "I'm sorry—I didn't even think of that…" He felt quite ashamed really. Bakura exhaled sharply.

"Well, it's pointless for you to eat it now. Go back to bed Ryou…I'll clean up this mess."

"Bakura its ok, I can clean it up," he offered. Bakura was upset with him now. The darkness seemed to be in a bad mood…Ryou must have made it worse. Bakura shot him a sharp look and he bent his head to look at the floor, quickly shuffling back to his bedroom. He slipped under the covers. Like a child in time out he sat quietly, looking down at the bedspread.

'_All I did was fall asleep on the couch…Maybe he's mad because of something else. Maybe something happened while he was out.'_

A while later Bakura entered the room holding a tray. Not expecting this Ryou raised his head curiously. On the tray was his bowl of soup and his cup of tea, steam rising from both of them. There was also a plate of—Ryou's eyes brightened—creampuffs! A plate with three creampuffs arranged quite nicely. Hidden away in the corner was his regular cup of medication, as always.

Without a word Bakura sat beside him and placed the tray on his lap. Ryou was still gazing at it in delight, mostly because of the creampuffs. "I didn't want this food to go to waste," said Bakura, still annoyed. Then his tone softened. "Do as I tell you and stay in bed Ryou. I'll bring you food. I'll bring you medicine. I'll bring you what you need alright?"

'_What about going to the bathroom?'_ he wondered. Instead of asking this he just nodded, knowing Bakura couldn't get angry with him for having to go to the toilet or shower.

"Good then. You need your rest. You look so pale," He felt the boy's forehead. "But you feel so hot."

"I'm cold," said Ryou. Bakura gave him a soft look before reaching for the soup spoon. He raised it to his own lips, blew on it ever so slightly, and then offered it to Ryou. The teen was slightly surprised that Bakura was feeding him now, but he was grateful all the same. "Thank you Yami," he said in-between spoonfuls. Bakura shrugged, and then set the spoon back into the bowl, offering Ryou the cup of tea. Ryou was able to drink it himself. As he set it down Bakura saw him eye the creampuffs. This made the yami crack a smile.

"I knew you'd like those," he said. Ryou smiled, eager to have one. He reached for one but Bakura swatted his hand lightly. "Ah ah ah," he scolded, wagging a finger. "Dessert last." Ryou mustered up a pout.

"But Yami…" he whined. "Just one? Please?" Bakura smirked.

"Well…" The yami gave Ryou a sly smile and picked one of the creampuffs up. "Alright, but just one." He picked one up and inspected it in his hands. "Hmm…Here you go hikari." He held it out by Ryou's mouth so the boy happily accepted it. Bakura watched as he munched on it then his smirk widened. "I believe I'd like a bite." Ryou blinked, looking very cute with his mouth full of creampuff and Bakura chuckled as he leaned in to kiss the boy, easily sliding his tongue past Ryou's sweet lips. The boy, caught of guard, could only utter a muffled 'eep!' of surprise. Bakura pulled away after a moment, gazing at the boy with a satisfied grin. "Sweet." Ryou swallowed what remained of his creampuff, his cheeks pink.

"You'll catch my cold if you do that again Yami," Ryou pointed out. Bakura shrugged.

"It will have been worth it." He grinned. After that Bakura continued to feed his hikari, the two making small chat. Ryou mentioned to Bakura about how far behind he would get in his schoolwork but the yami seemed unfazed. Ryou couldn't make him understand how hard it would be to catch up when he went back! If only someone would drop his homework off at his house…or Bakura would run and fetch it. Ryou didn't dare ask though.

Ryou reached for another creampuff but Bakura stopped him yet again. "Medicine first." Ryou made a face and stuck out his tongue at the icky, red, liquid. Bakura, like a fox in the brush, pounced on Ryou's mouth with his own. Bakura laughed when he pulled away and Ryou looked dazed. "You're the one who stuck it out. I couldn't resist," he said with a playful smirk. Ryou drank his icky medicine and was relieved when he was permitted to pop another creampuff into his mouth. Bakura took the last one, licking at the white cream and giving Ryou a seductive look.

He was tired of waiting, Ryou could tell. It had only been two days and Bakura was already getting restless. Maybe _that_ was why he was in such a bad mood. Ryou was afraid that Bakura would go further than his suggestive games but after eating the final creampuff he took the tray away and came back with a small, almost pleasant smile on his face.

He sat beside Ryou and the boy leaned against his chest. They ended the day like they'd begun it. _'Maybe I won't have nightmares anymore. Maybe they're finally going to leave me be.'_

XXX

**Hope you enjoyed it! Please review! It will motivate me to keep writing! I always need a little bit of that. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Haven't updated in a while have I? Sorry! Busy as always. Finally I've found some free time to work on this and I hope you like it. I haven't been very ill lately so my take on his illness is not quite as in-depth as it could have been. I like to use italics a lot if you haven't noticed. Most of the time it represents memory. Only when it looks like this is it not memory.**

'_Blah.'_

**That is thought. But you guys are smart enough to figure that out.**

XXX

Ryou awoke the next morning from a dreamless sleep. _'Finally, no more nightmares,'_ he thought with a smile. He lay in the bed a moment, still too tired to get up, but not tired enough to go back to sleep. Sunlight was pouring in on him through the window and like a cat he stretched out, enjoying its warmth. _'The sun is up. I wonder if I've slept in too late.'_ He willed himself to open his eyes and glance over at the alarm clock. It was half past nine. _'Oh well. I can't go back to school until Bakura says so anyway.'_

Said yami was no where to be found. Ryou glanced to the bedside table again and spotted a note and a cup of medicine. He was in no mood to take it now, and had a good mind to just flush the entire cup down the toilet, but he knew that wouldn't be tolerated. _'I'll take it later,'_ he told himself.

The teen sat up and propped himself up by the window, gazing out into the city. He felt like an outsider looking in; just watching a world he wasn't really connected to. The city was bustling and buzzing. The bobbing heads of people milled about, each one just a blip in the big picture. He imagined each one had a different story to tell. A longing sigh escaped his lips and felt sudden urge to walk right out the door and into the other world, but he knew he couldn't. It saddened him inside.

'_When did my life change?'_ he asked himself. _'When did it turn into this?' _The image of Marik slithered through his mind like a drifting fog and he shuddered. Pushing it away he thought of Bakura. _'I love you Bakura," _he said in his mind._ …_Nothing. He felt no different. The apartment was quiet, no movement to be heard. He decided to take a chance. "…I love you Bakura," he whispered.

Hearing it aloud felt strange. It didn't even sound like his voice. "I love you Bakura," he said again, a little stronger. Nothing stirred inside of him. Displeased by this he wondered…did he love Bakura? A frown formed on the teen's face and his innocent, brown eyes filled with deep confusion. _'That's stupid. Of course I love him…But….then why don't I feel it?'_

Bakura took care of him. Bakura kissed him. Bakura teased him and tickled him and slept with him…but had Bakura ever said he loved him? Ryou couldn't remember and that confused him even more. His stomach began to churn nervously. These things…the possibility Bakura didn't love him…that he didn't love Bakura…just thinking this frightened him.

'_If he doesn't love me…then what am I to him?'_ he wondered.

The boy had thought enough. He wanted to forget again. Shaking his head he turned back to look out at the city below. He couldn't go out into that world…but perhaps he could just touch it for a bit? With some difficulty he managed to slide open the bedroom window. A cool breeze hit his face, making his ivory locks dance. Closing his eyes the boy could hear the movement of the world; he could smell it; feel it. He wanted more of it.

Ryou realized he felt much better. The dragon in his throat seemed to have settled down and instead of groggy and tired he felt rested and energetic. He wanted to get up and do something. If only someone had dropped off his school work…But…well, aside from Bakura, and perhaps Malik, Ryou didn't really talk to people…therefore he really didn't have any close friends. There were acquaintances yes but, he never spent time with anyone except Bakura. This never really bothered him, that's just the way it was.

Upon getting up to walk about he discovered the apartment was empty, as he'd thought. "What to do, what to do?" he asked aloud. "I could watch some TV...perhaps read a book? Maybe I should make some breakfast?" He was a little hesitant to do so, for he thought back to what had happened before. He decided to refrain from food, just incase Bakura decided to waltz in with a silver platter of eggs and bacon.

It was just then that Ryou realized the number one setback of being home sick. Once you felt well again there was nothing to do! He tried reading, but eventually lost interest. He tried watching TV but nothing good was on! In a last desperate act he tried to teach himself how to juggle using some oranges from in the fridge. This didn't last very long either. Just when he decided he might take a shower a sound was heard from the living room. He stopped in mid-step and slowly turned towards it. The sound came again; a knocking. Actually it was more like pounding...Was someone outside the door? He walked forward, cautiously. Bakura would never knock to be let in to his own home unless his hands happened to be full, or he'd forgotten his keys. Perhaps one of the two scenarios had happened. He reached out to open the door but something stopped him. He remembered the note Bakura had written a few days ago. Hadn't it said not to open the door for anyone?

The pounding came again, harder. What would happen if he didn't open the door? The person pounding sounded strong…Would they just come in on their own? Against his better judgment he decided to open the door. Who else besides Bakura would come to see Ryou? It had to be his yami—his yami was pretty strong. Yes, Bakura must have gone out to buy food! It was a good thing Ryou hadn't eaten any break—

XXX

"_Bakura wait!"_

"_Stay here."_

_Ryou stopped in his tracks, gazing at his yami in desperate confusion._

"_Bakura…?" he pleaded for answers but his yami merely gazed back at him with stony cold eyes. All signs of love were gone. _

"_I'm going to be gone for a while Hikari and I want you to stay here."_

"_But why?" he whispered. "Why can't I stay home?" Bakura's eyes seemed to narrow even more._

"_Listen to me," he said firmly. "Things will be a lot better when you learn to listen to me Ryou," he said curtly. "I'm only looking out for you. If you would just obey me things wouldn't have to be so difficult." Those words were the last said before the door snapped closed. _

_Ryou just stood there, staring at the door, until he heard footsteps behind him and a strong hand grip his shoulder. Slowly he turned his head around to meet the intense gaze of the lavender-eyed man. The corner of his mouth turned upward into a smirk._

XXX

_Little pig, little pig, let me in._

"Hello there Ryou."

His heart skipped a beat.

If you've ever woken up in the middle of the night after a scary dream and calmed yourself down only to spot a figure standing in the corner of your room, you know the feeling. It's that feeling that strikes you like a slap in the face. It's that feeling that can hit you with so much force you feel your whole body depress from its massive weight. It's the feeling Ryou felt when he opened the door and saw who was on the other side. It was a feeling that made him want to run to the open arms of his yami and hide their strong embrace.

It was not Bakura staring down at him. It was not Bakura smirking slightly. It was not Bakura who had blonde spiky hair and dark amethyst eyes…

"I wasn't expecting you to answer. Shouldn't you be at school?" the large, man asked with a lazy smile. Ryou just stood there, like a dear in the headlights. His entire body felt frozen; paralyzed.

"Marik…" he murmured wearily. The larger man chuckled, a deep ripple from his chest.

"Very good," he said, stepping forward and into the apartment. Ryou jumped back, like a cat caught in the sprinkler system. Marik merely smirked and closed the door behind him. "Aw, why so jumpy Ryou?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. Ryou didn't answer, he just watched the door shut with a _click_. He didn't like it, not at all. His heart had to be beating loud enough for Marik to hear. What should he do? He hadn't invited Marik in, but the man was in his house. Ryou stepped back to put distance between them and asked in a hoarse whisper, "What brings you hear Marik?"

The man shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "I came to pay a visit to Bakura." He smirked. "Late night huh? That's why you're still here? Recovering?" Ryou shook his head slowly and cast his eyes downward, nervously biting his lower lip.

"No…" he replied. Marik gave a 'hah' as if he didn't believe him.

"Then you and Bakura just decided to have a day to yourselves?" he asked. The boy shook his head again. "Heh…Where is the Baka anyway?" Ryou didn't know what to say. He felt like he was sinking into himself. He felt like a turtle, retreating into his shell. Slowly he would curl up, like a flower's dried petals, and then he would crumble. Bakura wasn't there for him to run too.

Marik could tell from the look on his face. His smirk suddenly widened and the air seemed to grow tenser. "Bakura's not here is he…? Too bad…I'd wanted to talk with him." He advanced forward to Ryou and the boy stepped back again. His eyes were so haunting Ryou couldn't look away, no matter how much he wanted to. Marik kept coming forward and Ryou kept moving away until he hit the wall. Marik chuckled his deep, dark chuckle and leaned over the boy. He was quite taller than Ryou, so when the man loomed over it was enough to scare anyone. The white haired boy was terrified. "I guess I'll just have to talk to you," he said, raising a finger and poking the boy's chest. Ryou bit his tongue. "I thought a smart lad like you would care about your education. Tell me Ryou, what are you doing here all by your lonesome?"

The pale boy fumbled to say something but couldn't come up with squat. His legs were shaking and he just wanted to play dead._ 'Bakura.' _He thought._ 'Yami. I want my Yami. I want Bakura.'_ These pleas rang through his mind and he thought of when he was a small child. Back then he called for his Mommy, not his Yami.

"You're awfully quiet. What's wrong?" Marik asked, leaning even closer; so close that Ryou found himself going cross-eyed just to meet the man's gaze.

"I'm sick…" Ryou mumbled, turning his head away. Marik's arm was up against the wall, blocking any chance of escape for the boy. He was cornered.

"Sick?" Marik asked, raising a brow. "But why would he leave his sick hikari all alone? That seems unlike him." Ryou squirmed uncomfortably.

"I _am_ sick," he replied in the same small voice. The finger that had poked his chest trailed up to his chin where Marik turned his head so they were looking at one another again.

"Shouldn't you be in bed then?" he asked, his eyes flickering. "You don't look too sick to me…" He leaned closer, pushing his body against the boy's and Ryou's breath caught in his throat. Marik's muscular chest was nearly suffocating him.

"But I am!" he protested in a frantic whisper, as Marik's hot breath tickled his ear. "I've been sick for days now, I just got up to-to go to the bathroom…" he explained. His chest was pounding. Without warning his dragon, awoken by the boy's shallow breathing and racing heart, decided to breathe his fire. Ryou leaned his head back and let lose a fit of hacks and chokes. His entire body shook against Marik's. The man stopped his assault and watched Ryou with interest, waiting until the boy was able to gain control. Suspiciously the blonde one pressed the back of his rough, tan, hand against Ryou's forehead.

"Hm…I suppose you do feel warm." He didn't move but instead began to stroke the boy's hair. "Poor, little Ryou…" A menacing smirk played across his lips. "You should lie down."

Ryou frowned at Marik as he began touching his hair. He closed his eyes and turned his head away from Marik again.

XXX

_The room was dirty. There were large spots on the ceiling where it looked like the rain had leaked through. And the wallpaper was ugly and peeling. And the bed on which he sat was creaky and stiff. His sheets felt dirty and his blanket smelled funny; like sweat, and something else. And there were no windows and only one light, hanging from the ceiling. He looked over and watched a roach crawl across the floor, disappearing under the bed. He shuddered and pressed himself against the wall._

_Why was he here?_

_The door opened creakily and he looked up at the broad-shouldered figure that stood in its frame. He closed the door slowly, gently almost. His face never changed, his gaze never drifted to anything but Ryou. The boy found himself captivated. This man was like a snake. As he slithered forward the boy knew something was wrong. He knew this man was planning something. He knew it was bad. _

_There are times to talk and times to scream. There are times to ask questions and times to wonder in silence. There are times to lie and there are times to let the truth spill out like a rushing waterfall. And there are times to fight and there are times to give in. There are questions we never learn the answers to, and there are answers that we never question. Sometimes it's the people who we love the most who hurt us the worst. _

_It was early morning when Ryou was crying, curled up into a fetal position. The sun was starting to rise when he trembled and felt his insides crumbling. People were leaving for work when the door opened again and Ryou felt his first taste of real terror. It left him with a coppery taste in his mouth and a black spot in his heart. _

XXX

When he opened his eyes he felt sick again. His throat hurt and his head was pounding. All over his body felt cold. Goosebumps rose on his arms.

_He was being smothered. He couldn't breathe._

His head was lying on something soft and lumpy, and it wasn't just the couch. Marik's hand was still stroking his head, and he felt like a cat.

_Warm breath, wet kisses, painful nibbles…_

He felt like he was going to throw up. His nightmares, his memories, were all coming back in the worst way. He didn't just remember, he _felt_. Marik's hand wasn't just stroking his hair…it was everywhere…he wasn't just lying on the man's lap…they were in the bedroom...

_He was whimpering, crying, pleading, so confused…so scared…He tried to fight, he tried to kick and shove and hit and punch._

"Shh…Stop shaking like that. What's wrong with you?"

_Now he was just waiting. He was lying still as he could. He was praying and hoping it would stop. He didn't like it, he didn't want it. He wanted to go home._

"I'm not going to hurt you Ryou. You haven't been naughty."

_There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home…_

He coughed again, his breathing still irregular. Closing his eyes he tried to calm down. He tried to make the memories go away, but he couldn't. Marik rubbed his back as an attempt to sooth him. It wasn't working.

XXX

"_Good boy…" purred a voice in his ear. He whined as a long tongue roughly licked away his tears. "That wasn't so bad now was it?" He trembled, eyes glazed over, gazing into nothing. It was too much. He was lying limply, being held by the thick, muscular arms of the monster that had scarred him forever. It seemed like an eternity as they both laid there, their bodies needing to recover._

_After a while a soft kiss was placed on his forehead. "Go to sleep and come down if you want breakfast." The weight slipped off the bed, leaving him tangled in the dirty sheets. He stared at the ceiling with its ugly wet stains and like the rain that had caused those spots, more tears leaked from the corner of his eyes and down his face. _

XXX

"Marik?" a voice asked. A door closing brought Ryou back to reality and his eyes shot open. "What the hell?" He heard footsteps and then a pair of legs appeared in his line of vision.

"There you are Bakura. I was wondering when you'd get back."

"Marik what are you doing here?" asked the paler darkness. Ryou heard that edge in his voice. He'd never been so relieved to hear his yami angry.

"I came over to see you but all I found was your little light here." The hand stroked his hair and he shuddered very noticeably. "You really shouldn't leave this little guy home alone." Another stroke. "Especially when he's sick. He gave me a hell of a scare with that fit of coughs earlier."

Bakura clenched his fists and his voice was pinched. "I had to run out for a bit." Ryou didn't look up but he could feel Bakura's eyes on him. "Let me put him to bed, then we can talk. Come on Ryou." The white haired teen did not need to be told twice! He scrambled off of Marik's lap, nearly falling into Bakura in an attempt to put as much distance between himself and the tanned nightmare before him. Strong arms gripped his stomach to steady him. The boy would have walked but he supposed Bakura had noticed his trembling limbs. His guardian lifted him up into his arms and whisked him away into the confines of their bedroom.

Ryou buried his face into Bakura's chest and wrapped his fingers tightly around his shirt. Bakura sat down on the bed, holding him at first, rubbing his back a bit as he began to cough, and then pried him away so they could look each other face to face. The boy, exhausted from the illness and the mental strain he'd been going through, coward under Bakura's angry glare. At first he was silent. His eyes drifted over to the bedside table and his anger deepened. Ryou looked too and saw the cup of medicine and note.

Bakura's eyes snapped back to Ryou's. "You didn't take your medicine." He began. "And you didn't read my note?" Ryou gulped and shook his head back and forth.

"I-I'm sorry…" He apologized. "I forgot." This was a terrible excuse.

"You forgot?" Bakura snarled and Ryou's eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't expected Bakura to get so angry with him... "You forgot?" he repeated, in a calmer tone. "I suppose that's why you let him in?" He nodded towards the living room where Marik waited. Ryou didn't know how to answer. "I told you in the note not to let anyone in, just like yesterday," he said lowly.

"I'm sorry," said Ryou once more. "I thought perhaps—"

"No, you didn't think Ryou. You did something completely idiotic," Bakura growled. He gripped the boy's wrist tightly. "How many times do I have to tell you? Why won't you just _listen_ to me?" Bakura's grip was painful.

"I do yami!" he cried. Why couldn't Bakura see that?! He always did just what his yami told him! "I just made a mistake! I'm sorry!" He tried to explain, pleading Bakura with his eyes. He didn't want Bakura mad at him; not now. He just wanted to curl up in the darkness's arms. He wanted to feel Bakura's tight embrace, holding him close. He wanted to cry out his fear onto the only one he felt safe with.

"Well obviously you didn't or else you wouldn't have let him in!" Bakura snapped, wrenching the boy forward with his arm. Ryou winced and whimpered as Bakura's nails dug into his near translucent skin. Bakura stared at him long and hard with those dark, angry eyes. Ryou just bowed his head, like a tree bending in the winds of a relentless storm. He would just let Bakura rain anger down upon him and wait it out.

Eventually he felt Bakura's grip loosen and his anger level drop, though he could still feel the man's tenseness. Bakura's fingernails had made little incisions in Ryou's skin and miniature drops of blood had squirmed their way out. The smaller teen looked up as he felt Bakura kiss the drops away. A spark of hope glimmered in his eyes. He didn't want Bakura to be angry with him. The boy couldn't take it if Bakura were to be mad at him now, not when he needed him so much. He wanted to say something, anything to make his yami see that.

"I love you Bakura." The boy had to say it. He just had to. He had to see what would happen. The only way to really see would be to say it to his face, right at that moment.

At first Bakura acted like he hadn't heard. Then, Ryou could see his eyes widen, just a fraction or so. His pupils became smaller and he let Ryou's hand slip from his grasp. Ryou waited, not even breathing. He inched close to Bakura, searching his face for any emotion, any at all, he could read. The man looked at him, their eyes locked for a mere second before he was no longer sitting on the bed. Instead he was gliding to the door, back turned, not a word said. Ryou didn't even have time to say, "Wait!" before the door was closed tightly.

Ryou was silent. For a few minutes all he did was sit there, quiet as could be. Then he lay back, and crawled under the covers, wrapping them around him, literally in his 'safety blanket.' Then he cried. He whimpered, and whined and shuddered and sobbed. He sniffled and coughed and gasped as the tears came flooding out. Wrapping himself tightly in the blanket he prayed Bakura and Marik couldn't here him.

'_He didn't say anything…He didn't say ANYTHING! He didn't do anything at all…' _His heart, which had been beating so fast for the past hour or so of re-living his memories with Marik now felt like it was going to slide down his chest and fall into the pit of his stomach. The word of the day for Ryou was: confused. He was confused about Bakura and he was confused about Marik. In his heart, Ryou knew…he had loved Bakura. He had to have loved Bakura at some point…Why else would he like it when his yami kissed him? Why else would he enjoy cuddling up against his yami, even if sometimes it led to more than cuddling. Even when it did…He was ok with that.

"_Good boy…"_ he heard Marik hiss in his mind and he let out a heart wrenching sob.

But Bakura wasn't Marik…Bakura didn't do it to hurt him. He knew that because…it was different with Bakura than with Marik. Bakura did it because…

'_He loves me?' _Ryou wondered._ '…Has he ever loved me?'_

He used to say it. The young boy was able to pull one pure memory from before the sickness, and even before Marik. Sniffling he recalled a warm winter night. There were fuzzy blankets and caramel popcorn. Perhaps it had been a cool October evening. They weren't even in their own house. Ryou didn't remember whose it was, only that there was a fireplace and that they'd been sitting on a couch beside it to keep warm. He closed his eyes and recalled the warm feeling…

XXX

_He was laying in Bakura's arms, under the blanket. Both of them took turns feeding each other popcorn. Bakura licked the caramel from Ryou's fingers every time and every time the boy blushed. With each blush Bakura smiled. It wasn't a smirk. It was an actual smile; small but sweet. When all the popcorn was done they just laid there, enjoying one another's presence. _

"_You've got some caramel on your face," Bakura said suddenly. Ryou turned to face him questioningly. That's when Bakura kissed him. It was soft, it was tender and it was just right. Ryou kissed back with the same gentleness. _

_Pulling away Bakura was smiling again, his filled with what Ryou could only describe as joy. "So sweet," he whispered. _

"_You too," Ryou whispered back._

XXX

Ryou was sure there was more…Maybe they kissed some more. He didn't recall. It was the only memory he could come up with, but it did prove something.

'_Bakura had to have loved me at some point,'_ he thought. _'The question is…does he love me now?' _Ryou didn't know how to answer this one. It was difficult to find the answers to questions when the only one to ask was yourself. He'd told Bakura he loved him, right to his face. Had this been a bad decision?

Sighing tiredly he couldn't bring himself to think of it any longer. He was exhausted, and still ill. Truthfully he felt worse then ever. Now he wanted sleep. He didn't want to re-live his memories in nightmares; he didn't want the Bakura questions to keep repeating themselves in his mind. Ryou wanted release from the hellish world he found himself living in. Though, falling into slumber was always easier when he was gathering warmth from the figure of his yami, not lying face first in a wet blanket of his own tears.

Before letting himself go he shakily sat up and reached over to the medicine cup. He would take it now, and not suffer the consequences later. He downed it in a single gulp and let the empty cup fall to the floor. Only then did he crawl back into his safety blanket, where exhaustion finally won him over.

XXX

**I know. It's weird right? There were things in the last chapter I wish I could take back, so I had to work around it. Just incase my writing style isn't clear enough, yes Ryou was raped by Marik. He was left at Marik's house by Bakura and Marik took the advantage to rape Ryou but we don't know why yet. Perhaps he's just a sicko. Who knows? If you're a clever reader you might know, or at least, suspect!**

Read and review and I will shower down more boy love on the world!


	5. Chapter 5

**Yea it's been a long time hasn't it? Ok so…I'm really tired right now. Like, really tired. I started writing this a few hours ago, when I was given a random moment of inspiration. I channeled it into this story and didn't stop writing until I'd finished, then I took a shower and reread and edited everything. Just so you know, I put some nice work into this chapter. I think it was the cookies. Every snow day I bake cookies and I write. I baked cookies today and look what happened! Magic I tell you.**

**I had more to add to this chapter, but I decided to make it a whole chapter of its own. I was also afraid if I didn't post this tonight, I wouldn't post it ever. So here you go, to those of you who read this. Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I've been waiting for a night like this.**

_In front of him animated characters flashed across a television screen, spouting out crude, adult jokes. On the wall, there was a clock with a hypnotic second hand. The wallpaper was peeling. A spider crawled across the ceiling, and into its hole. _

_Unexpectedly came a knock on the door._

"_It's open," called a low voice. Ryou could feel the vibrations of the owner's chest. He could feel the man's breathing. It lulled him into a sedated state, between sleep and consciousness. A large hand was absentmindedly running through his hair, sending chills throughout his body. He shivered._

_The door opened with a drawn out creak, like it was shrieking. _

"_Well, look who it is," the same low voice spoke again, humorously, as if it were telling a joke. Ryou felt the hand drop away as two legs appeared directly in front of him._

"_Ryou?" _

_He blinked. That voice was familiar. His body shuddered as life began to flow into its limbs once more, and his brain awoke. _

"_Ryou." Here was the low one, that made his heartbeat accelerate. It forced his body to respond quicker and he lifted his head, feeling slightly woozy. A barely audible 'yes' fell from his dry lips. He swallowed, and involuntarily turned to meet amethyst eyes. _

"_Aren't you going to say hello?" He was being teased, but although Marik regarded him with humor, in his eyes a terrifying darkness still dwelled. It kept the youth from cracking a smile. Instead he slowly turned his head. First a stomach stood in front of him, then as his eyes traveled up, a chest, a neck, a face. _

_For a fleeting moment his entire body cried out in rejoice. Then it died once more._

"_Hello, Yami." His voice came out lacking the emotion he felt inside. _

"_Hello Ryou." Bakura was so different than the last time Ryou had laid eyes on him. How long had it been? Months? Years? It felt like another lifetime. His yami smiled, hesitantly, dark eyes looking Ryou over from top to bottom. He reached out, and the boy flinched. Ryou could feel Marik's disapproval, and see the concern in Bakura's eyes. Biting his lower lip—another thing he knew the Egyptian would reprimand him for, he murmured his apologies. This show of regret only made Bakura's face darken more._

"_Marik," he said, turning to face the Egyptian. He sounded angry. "Is it done?"_

"_He could use a few more days," the man replied._

"_It doesn't look like it." _

"_Don't spoil my fun __**'Kura**__," the tan one sneered. Ryou winced at his abuse of the pet name. "Can't the Kitten stay few more days with me? You like it here, don't you Ryou?" Marik had draped an arm around Ryou's slender shoulders and the boy nearly caved in. He met Bakura's eyes, and opened his mouth to speak but Bakura cut him off._

"_Back off," Bakura growled dangerously. Things could get ugly when he was mad. It was a good thing to, for Bakura's fierce appearance made the arm around Ryou's shoulders retreat. _

"_Alright, alright…he's all yours."_

"_Ryou," Bakura seized his wrist no-too gently and pulled him forward. The boy squeaked as his battered body was forced to move. Instantly his legs gave out and he fell against Bakura, but the man thought fast and easily caught his young lover. Pain licked at Ryou's backside and it must have show on his face because Bakura's mannerisms suddenly became gentle, and his voice calmer, as it always did when he was injured._

"_I'm taking you home," he said firmly. Instead of carrying him as the boy assumed he would, Bakura eased him back onto his feet, until he was standing on his own, despite the pain. _

"_Goodbye Ryou," Marik said from the sofa, where Ryou had previously sat across his lap. His behavior and the way he spoke to Ryou made Ryou feel like Marik had a trick or two up his sleeve._

_Bakura's body tensed and when he spoke it was strained. "…Say goodbye Ryou."_

"_Good bye, Marik," Ryou obeyed. Marik was smirking at him, holding his gaze with those compelling eyes. Bakura broke the spell by leading him out the door._

_They were outside now. The sun was bright; far too bright for Ryou's unacquainted eyes. He squinted, attempting to see through the spots of light dancing in front of his eyes. _

"_Ryou," when Bakura spoke it was in that gentle voice again. "Things will be better now, I promise." The boy merely nodded along as they trudged down the sidewalk._

_Suddenly everything seemed real again; Bakura's arm around his waist, his yami's sturdy chest to lean against, the soothing sound of his voice. "Bakura," the boy choked. He was astounded as a half sob erupted from his chest. Bakura shushed him gently, planting a delicate kiss on his right temple. _

"_I promise. I'll keep you safe Ryou. I'll take care of you. As long as you just do what I say…things will be better, for both of us."_

_The boy swallowed, tears blurring his vision further, but he nodded without delay. He clutched the man beside him, his sturdy rock; his savior. Bakura would have what he wanted now. By throwing his hikari to the lion, only to rescue him later, Ryou had become broken and subservient. He would forgive Bakura for everything, and in return give him everything; his body, his life, just as long as Bakura protected him from Marik, from the pain. As long as they had each other and only each other everything would be fine. Ryou told himself this as they walked along, holding each other close. Things would be better for the both of them, with Bakura in control._

"_Promise me Ryou."_

"_I promise."_

XXX

It was the most vivid of all the dream's he'd had. Ryou longed to go back to it, to grab that feeling of safety only Bakura's arms could give, to hold in his heart the feeling of a gentle kiss.

It was dark. Not only were the light off, but through the window he saw nothing but a cloudy black sky, lit up only by the lights of the city. He hadn't woken up on his own, something else had roused him. His body still felt too fatigued and slow to even move. He would have sworn someone had tied a block of lead to his head.

There was movement in the other room; shuffling, bumping, footsteps. The door silently slid open and a figure staggered into the room. Ryou had been through this scenario many times before. It was the old routine.

The figure stumbled around as it stripped off its clothes. Before he knew it the bed sunk down as the dark figure crawled on top. Closer now, Ryou could see Bakura's face. In the dim light it looked sinister and haunting. He was panting softly, and Ryou could detect the strong odor of alcohol on his breath. _'Oh no.'_

"Hikari…" he purred, his voice dripping with the longing. Instantly he was on top of the boy.

"Bakura," Ryou barely whispered his name, but was greeted with a sudden pressure on his throat.

"Don't say a word," Bakura said slowly, his voice deadly. "No more excuses. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of waiting Ryou. Can't you see?" He lowered his face next to the boy's ear, whispering seductively. "I want you…" He fumbled to drag the sheets off the boy, using his fingers like claws. "I want you so bad…" Next his unsteady hands pulled at the boy's clothing, eventually resorting to ripping it off. Ryou did nothing, fear still choking him. His yami was being rougher than usual.

"C'mon hikari…" Bakura took Ryou's wrist, leading it to his throbbing member and forced the boy to return the favor's he was giving Ryou.

Two big tears worked their way down Ryou's cheeks as they continued. Never Bakura had Bakura forced himself on the boy so violently. Never. And if the boy ever got involved himself it was with gentle or playful coaxing and positive feedback from Bakura. Even more tears trailed down his face but he made no sound, not one single sob. He would not make things worse.

"Don't cry," Bakura hissed fiercely. Ryou couldn't help it. It was his _body's_ fault, not his. "Don't cry!" the man on top cried. Ryou squeezed his eyes shut and attempted to calm down, to build a wall against all the emotion he was holding inside, but it was hopeless. It was all coming out now, in a fit of sobs. Somewhere inside a dame had broken, and emotion began pouring out of him in the mass amounts of tears. Bakura continued to yell for him to stop. Even he sounded desperate now. He began to shake Ryou harshly, and the boy's head flopped from side to side, until his sobbing was covered by a harsh coughing fit.

Ryou's body began to spasm as the cough rocked his skinny frame. Through the tears all Ryou could see was Bakura's face, staring at him with wide, fearful eyes. He tried to call out his love's name, tried to plead for Bakura to stop, to hold him close and give his lungs air but Bakura was still intoxicated, and therefore unreasonable. He was shaking now too, but whether it was with rage or fear Ryou couldn't tell. He raised his right hand and Ryou groaned as he saw what was coming. "Ba-! Kura!" he croaked, desperately.

Before the hand could come down on him another, stronger hand grabbed it. In the next instant Bakura was ripped off the bed and ruthlessly thrown to the floor.

"Bakura you idiot!" Ryou didn't know what was going on. All he heard was yelling. The boy choked as he felt blood erupt from his throat. He gripped the sheets, gasping for air. Two huge arms wrapped themselves around his bare torso and brought him up into a sitting position. "Calm down," Marik's deep voice ordered. He pressed Ryou up against his chest as the boy struggled for his life. "Feel how I'm breathing, Ryou. Breath with me."

Blood dripped down his chin but he ignored it. He closed his eyes, although tears still poured out, and tried to breathe like Marik was instructing him to. It didn't even strike him as odd that his demon, his tormentor, was the one saving him. His brain didn't have enough oxygen to consider this thought. All he could do was cough up blood and continue to take deep breaths until finally, after what seemed like hours, but was most likely ten minutes, his coughs quieted away, leaving his throat a raw and bloody mess.

After that the apartment was quiet, except for the heavy breathing of Marik and Ryou as they sat against each other on his bed. The boy could not help but think of the last time they'd sat panting on a bed, and how different the circumstances had been.

Marik didn't stay long. He carefully laid the teen down, not bothering to cover him up, or adjust his pillow, but returned with a glass of tap water. "Drink this," he ordered. Ryou had no intention to disobey. He wiped away the blood with his arm and downed the glass is short, spaced sips, as to not agitate his throat further.

"He should have taken you to see a doctor, the idiot," Marik grumbled harshly. Ryou wanted to point out that his coughs hadn't been this bad, that he'd never spat out blood before, but his throat was far to soar to speak.

The glass emptied. Marik walked out of the room. Ryou was left alone again, on sheets stained with sweat blood, and evidence of Bakura's lust. Eventually he passed out.

XXX

"_Yami…please…Bakura stop…"_

"_But don't you like it hikari?"_

Everything swirled together and reappeared as something new.

"_Listen to me," he said firmly. "Things will be a lot better when you learn to listen to me Ryou. I promise. I'll keep you safe Ryou. I'll take care of you. As long as you just do what I say…things will be better, for both of us."_

All of the memories were blending together.

"_You're sick…So tonight, I'll let you rest."_

"_Poor, little Ryou…You should lie down."_

_There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home…_

"_Good boy…"_

"Ryou, wake up."

"_You'll catch my cold if you do that again Yami." Bakura shrugged. _

"_It will have been worth it." He grinned._

Ryou groaned

"_My Ryou…" he whispered. "My good, little, hikari."_

"_I love you Kura."_

"Wake up, we're going to the doctor's office. You've got an appointment."

Ryou opened his eyes.

The ride on the bus had been crowded and unpleasant. No one wanted to be near the wheezing boy, not even Marik. They waited a lot, in various rooms. Ryou hated doctors, but Marik didn't care at all when he told him so. The doctors had flashed lights in his eyes, stuck sticks down his throat, and slid his cold stethoscope all over Ryou's torso.

"Acute bronchitis."

Bakura's medicine hadn't been enough, apparently. Now he had to take special antibiotics.

"I can't sleep," Ryou had informed the doctor.

"He sure slept a lot this morning," Marik had grumbled.

"Nightmares." That was all Ryou had to say. Now he was on sleeping pills as well.

"Where'd he go?" Ryou asked when they were home again and his first dose of the antibiotics was dousing the fire in his esophagus.

"Beats me," Marik shrugged. "But he owes me for dragging you around that god awful place."

"Why'd you stop him?" Ryou sat on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him, Marik was pacing about restlessly.

"If he hadn't been drunk, he wouldn't have gone so far. And he would have been fucking pissed off if I'd let him kill you."

"You should have," Ryou said, without thinking. Marik stared at him curiously. "You should have let me die," Ryou murmured again, gazing at the floor dejectedly.

"Don't you go crazy suicidal on me now, Ryou," Marik snarled. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself." He planted himself next to Ryou. "Just take some of your pills and go to sleep. But try not to down the whole bottle and off yourself before Bakura gets back. He'd kick my ass if I let you die."

'_Do I care?'_ Ryou thought dully. _'Does saving my life make up for the part that you stole?' _

Ryou slept for the rest of the day without a single dream.

XXX

**Seeing as I don't have school tomorrow either, my goal is to write part of the next chapter and have that up soon. Then, this story should be done.**

**I feel like such a sicko for writing this story. Ok, so I know you just read it, but I feel the need to explain it to explain why I feel like a sicko. XD **

**Bakura and Ryou were together, in a sweet relationship until Bakura grew to love Ryou so much that he wanted Ryou to be his completely. He was impatient for sex yes, but he also wanted to be the only thing in Ryou's world. So he talks it over with Marik and the Egyptian suggests he leave Ryou at the Ishtar's house for the weekend, saying that he'll appreciate Bakura after a weekend with Marik, and so Bakura agrees, only half realizing what's going to happen to Ryou. The sad, sick thing is he knows he's setting up Ryou for all this pain, but he's doing it all so that he can be the hero who brings Ryou home again, and fights away his monsters. He wants Ryou to need him to survive. He doesn't want Ryou to be able to live without him.**

**O.O Wow I explained the whole story…Well, see the relationship between the two, and this world where the line between love and devotion is so thin, is why I wanted to write this story in the first place. That and…I couldn't get it out of my head! XD**

**R&R please?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Greetings. Surprised? Me too. But I did say I was going to finish this. You can expect another chapter after this one, and possibly another after that, and then this story will finally be complete.**

Ryou awoke to the smell of waffles.

He opened his eyes to find himself lying in near darkness. Very slowly he pulled himself up into a sitting position, rolling his neck around from side to side. Stiff. He felt very stiff. How long had he been sleeping? What day was it? What time?

One glance out the window answered that one. The rising sun's faint light was just beginning to arouse the outside world. Ryou couldn't remember if he'd ever woken up so early. His first instinct was to go back to sleep, but the aroma that had stirred him from slumber was tugging as his growling stomach; Ryou sat in a daze, wondering when he'd last eaten, but his mind was drawing a blank.

'_Tea.'_ He needed a cup of tea, and a big plate of waffles. Ryou stretched his body for a few more minutes until moving felt natural again. He wanted to go straight downstairs, but the dry, stale taste in his mouth drew him to the bathroom where he first brushed his teeth and then downed a glass of water. A glance in the mirror made him grimace. His hair was oily and limp. When had he last washed it? Again, he couldn't recall.

The unmistakable sensation of_ de ja vu_ suddenly swept over him.

After running some water through his hair, he headed straight for the kitchen, mouth watering at the thought of warm, fluffy waffles covered in a thick layer of maple syrup, just like his mother had made for him when he was a little boy.

"Mom?" He croaked softly, but was not his mother standing over the waffle iron.

"Oh, hey I didn't expect you to be up so early."

"Malik?"

"Good morning," the blonde sang, looking much to chipper for such an early hour in the morning. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Better?" Ryou repeated, feeling incredibly thick-headed.

"Your throat?"

"Oh!" Come to think of it, Ryou realized, his throat _was_ feeling better. "Actually, it doesn't even hurt."

"Good. Whatever that doctor gave you, it must have been strong. You slept like a rock. " Malik strode forward, a plate stacked high with waffles balanced on his palm. With his free hand he felt Ryou's forehead. "And you're way cooler than you were yesterday. I think your fever finally broke. Here," Malik set the plate in front of him. "I was making these for myself, but you can have the first batch."

"Thanks," Ryou took the knife and fork set out and cautiously began to eat, unsettled by the situation. However, his apprehension ebbed away as a bite of waffle melted in his mouth. "Malik, these are really good. I didn't know you cooked…or that you woke up at the break of dawn…Um, _why_ are you awake and cooking this early…at my house?" He questioned, awkwardly.

Malik grinned. "I didn't break into your house, and this isn't a booty call. I've been here all night taking care of you. But," he said quickly, "I'm here of my own free will, so don't worry about it, ok? I didn't like the thought of you here all by yourself. Besides, I figured someone would need to drop off your missed homework assignments."

"Thanks Malik…I don't know what to say other than thank you."

"No problem." Malik joined Ryou at the table and munched away on his own stack of cakes.

Now that his stomach had some fuel, Ryou's brain felt more awake. "Hey…What day _is_ it?"

"Saturday morning."

"…So I've been out all _week_?"

"Yea. That's why I figured it I should check in. Marik—" Ryou's stomach did a flip "—told me how he took you to the doctor, so I figured it was my turn to be your nurse."

Ryou cracked a small smile. "Nurse Malik? Well...I hope I wasn't too much of a burden."

"Hey, don't worry about it. I told you, I wanted to help out. Besides, you basically slept the entire time I was here."

"I don't even remember you coming over," Ryou confessed.

"Seriously? Man, you really were out of it then." Malik swallowed a bite before continuing. "I came over on Friday. Marik swiped a key while he was here, so I took that and let myself in. I'll let you have it back though."

'_Thank God.'_

"Anyway, I let myself in, found you asleep in bed. You really just kept sleeping most of the night. I didn't do much more than watch TV and check in on you. When you woke up or started coughing I gave you medicine. I heated up soup but you didn't want to eat anything." At this point Malik pushed away his waffles and his expression changed. He was still smiling, but there was something in his eyes. The room suddenly felt a lot smaller.

"So," he began, reaching out to take his hand. "I know that we've haven't ever gotten to hang out together just the two of us, but I want you to know that I consider you a friend. I mean, if you ever need to, you know, talk about something, let out some steam, or just do something fun you can always come knock on my door."

"Thank you." Ryou was beginning to sound like a broken record, but he was both surprised and touched by the kind gestures Malik had shown him. Gratitude made him squeeze Malik's hand. Malik returned the squeeze but his expression didn't change, and it was starting to make the other boy feel uncomfortable.

"Soooo," he tried again. "_Is_ there anything you want to talk about?"

"Um." Ryou could feel his own heart beating. What exactly was Malik talking about? "Like-" Ryou swallowed, wishing he had a glass of water. Or tea. "—like what?" He wished Malik would stop looking at him like that, but the other boy's eyes were focused intently on him.

In the gentlest tone imaginable Malik replied, "Marik wouldn't want me telling you this, but—," Ryou could feel the blood rushing to his head "—when I said I wanted to visit you he told me to make sure you didn't hurt yourself."

"Hurt myself?"

"Yea. He said you weren't in a "good place." I figured you probably just felt awful from being sick…_but_," as Malik continued to speak, flashes of the past week were starting to come back to Ryou. _Ryou had stayed home sick. Marik had visited, Bakura had gotten angry…multiple times._ The details were missing. He could only see pictures in his head, but the pictures were enough. "—while you were sleeping sometimes you said things or…" Malik seemed to think better of what he was about to say, "…and yea, so I child-proofed the house to be safe." When Ryou said nothing, Malik spoke again. "I don't mean to pry. I just want to make sure you're okay. I know what it is like to…uh…I mean, I live with Marik, you know? And he's a great guy. I mean I love him—" Ryou's breath caught in his throat, "—but he can be a real psycho sometimes. I imagine Bakura isn't too different. Maybe not psycho, but rough?" When Ryou nodded mutely Malik took it as a sign to continue.

"And Marik and I fight a lot. Really good fights where we shout and throw things and beat up on each other." Here he actually smiled. "And sometimes he gets carried away. We _both_ do. I say things that I shouldn't. Stuff that I know will really hurt him. Guys like Marik…and Bakura…they can take any sort of beating, but just the right words can hit them where it hurts, you know?"

'_I know.'_ Ryou thought, and the word reverberated off the walls of his mind. _'know, know, no, no.'_

"Since Marik is such a big guy, sometimes he hurts me more than he means to—_but_ he regrets it." Marik gave Ryou's hand another squeeze. "I can tell, because he gets even angrier. He gets angry with himself; sometimes even then he still takes it out on me, but usually he just storms out to go deal with it on his own. My point is," he in took a deep breath. "I think, from what I've seen of Bakura, that he isn't so different than Marik. So I think its fair to say that you and I can relate on a lot of things that other people wouldn't understand."

Ryou felt something dark and gruesome bubbling way down inside him. His stomach churned and he no longer wished to finish his waffles. He needed something to settle his stomach, to wash everything back deep down.

"Do you want some tea?" Ryou asked, suddenly pulling away from Malik's hand to put their dirty dishes in the sink.

"No, I'm not much of a tea person," Malik mumbled before letting out a sigh. The kitchen was quiet again, except for the sounds of dishes being washed. When Ryou had finished and turned his attention to preparing the tea, he finally spoke, "…Where is Bakura?"

"I don't know. Marik hasn't seen him since he showed up here, drunk off his ass." Again Malik tried to comfort Ryou. "Marik said things got kind of rough, but I bet Bakura feels bad about it. If he's anything like Marik that's probably why he isn't here."

"Yea," Ryou agreed, watching the kettle dance ever so slightly as the water inside began to boil. "Bakura…he…" What could Ryou say? "…he takes care of me," he whispered, finally. "He protects me. He brought me medicine and food and…"

"And he loves you," finished Malik.

Silence filled the room until the kettle let out a scream. It took Ryou a few seconds before the wail dragged him from his thoughts and back into the kitchen.

"Malik," he asked, his voice pleasant. "Does Marik tell you he loves you?"

"No," the boy admitted. "Not outright. He's not the type to say it like that, but he says it all the time, in other ways. The way he looks at me. The way he treats me compared to the way he treats others. I can tell."

"And it doesn't bother you, that he never says it?" pressed Ryou.

"No. I'm not really the type to say it outright either." Malik grinned. "But he knows how I feel about him. Actions speak louder than words." Ryou returned to the table with his tea and mulled this over.

"Thank you," he said, finally, and he smiled. "For sharing with me. I think this has been a big help."

"Anytime," he breathed, looking quite relieved.

"I think I'm feeling better enough to take care of myself, if you wanted to go spend the morning with Marik," Ryou suggested.

"You sure?"

"Yes," he replied, firmly. "Whatever Marik told you about me being in a bad place, I promise, it was the fever talking."

Malik didn't seem completely convinced so Ryou added, "Besides, I really need to take a shower." They both shared a laugh and Malik nodded. "Right," he said. "But if you need anything—"

"Just come knock on your door," Ryou finished.

"Don't be a stranger. If you don't drop by for a visit," he warned. "I'll be back here to make sure you didn't slip in the shower and give yourself a concussion."

"I promise you, I will _not_ kill myself." They exchanged smiles and said their goodbyes.

Alone in the house once more, Ryou stood in the steaming shower for a long time, thinking over everything Malik had told him. He thought and thought, and the more he thought the more he realized perhaps he had been going about things the wrong way.

_I want you to know that I consider you a friend. _

Malik was his friend.

Bakura was his savior.

Marik was his monster.

And they were his everything. The only ties that kept him from floating away into atmosphere. Without them, what would become of him?

"Sticks and stones may break my bones," he informed his washcloth. "But…"

_But he regrets it. _

And that was what really mattered. Wasn't it?

_Actions speak louder than words._

"Then maybe," Ryou said out loud, this time to no one in particular, "Its time I take action."

**Hopefully this chapter was to your liking. Reviews would be very much appreciated, so I know someone is reading, even if it just one person. If you are reading, I thank you very much and apologize for taking so long. **


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